remain faithful..

i went to bible study one wednesday. it was absolutely amazing. fear paralyzes your faith. and disbelief is the complete opposite of faith. hmm..

my faith has been tested and still is being tested throughout this semester. my tuition is an entirely different story in itself. i havent been able to pull happiness from the inside and tht sucks. i realized why we prefer to be sad sometimes. its not tht we like to be unhappy. but its easy to sulk in your own sorrow. its easy to run away from your problems and TRY to deal with your problems by yourself. and i must admit tht i have been victim to tht, but yesterday and today, i felt pure, true happiness. and it feels so good. you feel brand new. you feel refreshed. you feel loved and loving. happiness feels outstanding. smiling feels great.

i wont go into too much depth about my tuition. i dnt wanna complain. im honestly just blessed to even be here, at school, living, breathing, eating. im blessed for everything.

i cut my hair ! woop woop (: it looks really amazing actually. lol i went home recently for my sisters birthday. (ashley) we went to club level, had lots of fun. i gained so much more appreciation for my relationship with kerry. and joe, tsk tsk.. i cant even begin to describe. best friend is an understatement, honestly. i wish i could tag him in this some kinda way but its kinda fun knowing he secretly reads it. haha a

and tyron.. thts a different breed of man. one who gives so mmuch love and barely leaves any for himself. i always tell him to love himself more sometimes. he's so generous. love him.

honestly, when it was time for me to come bck to sam i cried. i cried and cried so hard. i didnt wannna leave my home. my mommy, my sister, my dog lol.. i just knew the semester would start off wrong and i didnt wnt tht. mommy didnt have a job, tuition wasnt paid, money wasnt coming. its tough man..

good news ? mommy has a job. if there is no one in this world tht i will ever respect i will ALWAYS respect my mother. you have a list of strong black women ? add my mother to it. tht woman is the most amazing woman i knw..

did i tell you guys im working on a mixtape ?! it was supposed to come out on january 20. well jan 15 then the 20th but it changed. and i didnt do it. but im serious about it. and i wanna be respected as an artist. seriously.. but it should be out in the summer.. im excited !!!!!!

umm, did i mention i love erian ? i dnt really remember how we got so close but she's here.. and i'd literally die without her. she sees in me what other ppl usually wouldnt. and i appreciate her. i secretly cry sometimes. not bawling cuz i aint no punk lol.. but i just shed a tear every now and then because friends are hard to find. and the way i feel abt erian (not on some gay shit) is indescribable. love her (: loveyou streetz.

umm... my aunt passed this morning. i cried. it just was christmas tht we discussed everything tht she made it through and now she's gone. and im sad for my own sadness, but sometimes my tears are selfish. im crying because i didnt wnt her to leave this earth, but i knw her suffering was unbearable. and who am i to make someone suffer any longer than they should ? shes in a better place im sure of it..

anywho.. i got a special call a couple of days ago. from a friend. my "stalkee" lol i just wanna let YOU knw tht i appreciated tht. seriously, you and me got history like no other. (: thnks.

but ima go. i feel like my typing is getting annoying to this girl.. lol

write later
byeeeeee
rae <3