#fuckinup

lol on titter that woulda been a trending topic. sorry to have been abandoning you so much. the time i haven't been fucking with you, i been busy. busy doing a little bit of something but a whole lotta nothing. hahahaha seriously.. i been dealing with a little bit. but i been good. went to hunts ville friday night with joe and tyron. stayed up there with rachelle.

idk what it is with us when we all get together. thats love. wherever we go together anyone around us could imagine the love. we too closely knit to let them get a taste though. lol my little sister's black history program was better than i thought. they did a wonderful job. we were having church up in there ! i tweeted all about it. lol mybad.

but uhh.. i got my song ! i recorded it about a week ago and i jsut got it. (*excuse the typos. i dont feel like correcting them neither.) it's called ''trials of love'' and i'm really proud of it. it coulda been better but i am my own worst critic. that shit aint never been more true.

we got high before we came back today. well, tonight. i'm sleepy but i can not raise my ass off of this seat. ive been in front of this computer for an hour straight. on twitter. lol

i had a formspring and i disabled my account. it wasnt doing anything for me honestly. and who wants to hold on something that aint doing nothing for you ? thats right. NO ONE. lol i'm almost tempted to deactivate my facebook. i only keep it for the pictures. and when i get done with you, i'm probably gon update my status. lmao.

i'm sleepy. seriously.. i'll wirte some more at a later date. maybe tomorrow. hopefully tomorrow my bestfriendforever brings me those zebra cakes he has at his house. i got a glass of milk waiting on them. lol

byeeeee.
rae <3

it's like..

it's like these feelings that are emerging are supposed to be.
nothing feels wrong about this moment, these moments.
nothing feels right when i'm not with you.
nothing feels good if it doesn't involve you,
if my mind isn't on you then nothing ever sits well, of course,
everything sits well because you sit in my mind. like there's a chair on my brain,
you just sit and recline, and relax. and i bet you think as hard as i do when you're sitting there.
so then my mind works 2 times harder trying to match yours.
trying to fill itself with more thoughts of you than you could ever have of me. and it tickles.
maybe that's why i always get those little headaches that make me laugh although they usually provoke some kind of aching pain, i don't feel any pain. i feel GOOD. and feeling good ? feels good.
i always smile at the thought of you, how cliche' was that.
but it's true. my teeth are not ashamed to reveal themselves when i even think of your name.
and it's funny because i didn't realize where all this came from.
how blind am i, i didn't even see that YOU were the one bringing about all these feelings.
you..

it's like i didn't even notice.
i digress.


(all of this JUST came off the top of my head lol. i thought as i typed. i must have A LOT on my mind.)


raeee <3

&

i just hope that you see what you're leaving behind. through all the love that we spoke of and claimed, i figured it was too thick to be cut through by something as childish as this. there's always room for improvement. ima let you have your time and ima give myself some too. i'm always ms. fix it and i aint doing that this time.

this was not my fault. open your eyes and try to see things from my point of view. you should really start handling things in a different way, with other ppl's feelings in mind.

i love you wit hall of my heart,
bestfriendforever. (:

tough luck.

i never understood how someone who loves you so so much, can be so rude and inconsiderate towards you. i still dnt understand it.

some ppl take it too too far. and by people i mean the closest ones to me. word of advice, no when to stop. taking it too far can do damage. but it isnt tht serious, it would have been though if it would have gone any further. assholes.

anywho.. im still in huntsville. sigh, im ready to go home. i needa job, i need to go to school i need some money. like seriously.. but things are looking up. i refuse to si here and complain about everything. i talked to my aunt and my papa about it for the first time. i knw they didnt want my first year college experience to be so sucky, but it wasnt all tht bad. i had fun. and i'll have even more next fall. an apartment and all tht. it'll be fun.

umm.. im upset with tyron. i told him not to ever tlk to me again. of course i didnt mean ever but i was upset. sometimes he becomes this totally different person. its like, the things he does it makes you say "wtf" why are you doing this why are you being this way.. and it shocked me and actually disgusted me. to be one of the main ppl i confide in and then he ends the day in such a manner, yeah.. i am upset. and im upset with joe as well. he isnt a typical best friend. and sometimes he doesnt act like a best friend at all. shit's retarded.

anyway.. i cant wait to go home. i can work on my mixtape moreeeee... i can make my own money. i can see kerry moreee. it'll be funnn (:

today is such a gloomy day. RIP SHOOTA MAC. i didnt knw this man at all. but all over twitter today i saw tht he had passed away. and he has so many friends and family and ppl tht truly love him. and i think he knew alot of famous ppl. nonetheless, i knw the feeling. to lose someone so suddenly is tragic. and worthy of mourning by the ones who were survived. i knw you will truly be missed, and although i never knew you or heard of you until today, i already see the impact you had on the lives of alot of ppl. and i read some of your words, and your twitter.. your knowledge is something alot of us lack. with you in a higher place, i know you can show us some kind of way. and my prayers go to your family and your friends. i know you'll do right by them when you're up there. amen.


im kinda hungry. im finna get in the shower eat a lil something then go meet with residence life so they can get me moved out of my dorm.

byyeee
rae <3