blaahhhh.

i just realized something. im graduating. im leaving and going to college. no more high school. no more none of tht. its bittersweet. you grow up but you leave your past behind. those are great memories. the good and the bad. maannnn. [tear] lol


anywho. it all of a sudden got cold outside. wtf. we had to cheer at a pep rally. no jackets no pants. just cheer uniform. tlk about freezing! ugh. but yeah...my day was boring.

i had brwn bag deli for the first time. they have THE best sandwiches ever!!!! lol. but yeah...im done. another pointless blog.

byyeeeee. <3

self-explanatory.

so strong in the way tht i loved you.

so weak in the way i gave in.

so poor in my effort to keep you.

now our relationship is hard to mend.

but see i always have to spell it out for you.

for some reason you never understand.

i never tried to be the stop sign in your life

but i did try to make you a new man.

i tried to give you all of my heart

while trying to please someone else.

i tried to please you and the others

never thinking of pleasing myself.

but i know better. reality has come.

and your true colors i have now seen.

the wrong in your actions was clear.

but in your life you just thought id intervene.

so i fixed what i felt was wrong.

and kept my feeling towards you to myself.

then you tried to call me out on my imperfections.

i just had to let you know for yourself.

it was never tht i ever tried to keep you.

you could leave at anytime you pleased.

but you left and went the wrong direction.

and i didnt take your actions with ease.

but if you think tht you did nothing wrong.

then by all means continue in what you do.

and forget about whatever we had.

because clearly you wnt us to be thru.

but in honesty i cannot complain.

we're aware of the situation tht im in.

but tht was never an issue before you found yourself talking to a friend.

but you probably dropped me a long time ago.

and my rambling on here has no point.

and i didnt realize how much i loved you

until you hurt me just now. in my joints.

and in my heart. and in my mind. and in everywhere else you can think.

but things happen. ppl change. and ppl leave your life within a blink.

yes. i did go there. i went all the way. i am very hurt. but its cool. i'll be just fine. but because you decided to put me all out on YOUR blog i discreetly put you out on mine. and i smoothly let you know exactly how you were wrong and whether you agree with me or not doesnt matter. i understood who you were and how you were and what you needed. and i EXPECTED you to go out and tlk to someone else. but you went so low as to go to my closest friend. the audacity. but im done faulting you. im done. because the longer i stay mad at you the harder it is to move on with my life.

im out.

byyeeeeee. <3

yeessss.

maaannn.

so im sick. sore throat stuffy nose coughing all over the place. lol. and i have a wedding to sing at next week. you have GOT to be kidding me.

anyway...i would go into detail about the past happenings of my weekend but id rather not. its in the past now and im over it. so anywayy...

another lsg pary in february. i msure they ready to shut tht one dwn too. ugghhhh. i dnt really have much else to say. this was jsut a pointless blog.

i got my license finally. but no car. yes...sucky i know. but...everything comes slowly i guess. but anywho...ima end it right here. im thru.

byyeeeee. <3

crazy weekend.

man. i dnt even wanna go into detail. just know tht is was fun up until sunday night at lsg. after tht?? it was all over.

now im exhausted. i need to get home. i need to do so much. i just wanna go home. ppl yelling at me all night cuz they thought i was so drunk tht i wasnt in my fucking right mind. wtf. are you kidding mee??

anyway. im out.

byyeeee.

random pictures.

ima crazy girl man. thts all. lmao. <3

update.

soo....i got accepted to my top school...SAM HOUSTON STATE UNIVERSITY. im very excited and proud of myself...thts what i have to tell you!!

senior girls...whew.

i looked good. all my girls looked good. the boyfriend went to. now lets tlk about how wasted everyone was. ohmygoodnesss. the party bus we rode on was amazing. white and black ppl was wildin. i had so much drank its unbelievable. got off the bus feelin GOOD. lol. but some ppls drunkeness didnt go too well. long story short: there was puke everywhere. niggas falling from left to right. but they survived. one of them was my girls...but thnk GOD she's ok now. but yeah...lots of ppl got in trouble too. not me but...it sucks. cuz aint none of my girls going to the upcoming party thts on sunday. well monica is...but the rest of them arent. :( anywho...

its been so cold outside lately. and i dnt like the cold AT ALL. id rathr it be hot. really. call me crazy if you wnt [my stalker would] he thinks im insane. we had the funniest convo last night. well...he thought it was hilarious i dnt see how humorous it was.

i was supposed to get my license today...things aint work out like i planned. smh. i was really pissed off about tht. but i guess it wasnt tht big of a deal. ugh. it was to meeee. im tired. my attitude is REAL rude---and idk why. i should really work on tht.

sooo...ive gotten used to my new house and im starting to like it. no carpet?? thts whats killing me. and the bugs. lmao. they fucking get in my nerves. and the heater wasnt working for a while. but its better now.

NOTORIOUS came out in theaters today. wish i could go see it but i guess tht idea is a NO NO. but...uhh...drake says this line in one of his songs and i just cant get enough of it. idk why but he says: "jealousy somethin i havent felt for years. theres nobody around for me to be jealous of." like....come on. who says true shit like tht nowadays??? aint nobody real in this world anymore man. thts sad. but anyway...ima end it right here. im getting bored and sleepy and hungry and grumpy. soo..

byeeeee. <3

two thousand && nineee.

hahahaha. new year new me. lmao. i put tht on my facebook status for a little bit butt...i changed tht shit. change comes with TIME. and one day aint gon change me tht quick i promise.

anywho...i was at my friend raisha house. me d'ann arianna ashlyn maatra monica kerry ashley marquis. we had fun for real. marquis drunk ass hopped over a bucket on a bicycle. lmao. we popped fireworks. amazing. food movies fun.

aint nothin really change about me YET. i mean...i deleted some numbers so i could start fresh. but thts the thing. you actually have to START to make a change to actually MAKE the change. it dnt just come tht easy. if it did niggas woulda changed a long ass time ago. what you think?? but im lad its 2009. lots of thing happen this year. for example:

i graduate high school.
i go to college. (which means i go out of houston to begin a new life)
i become an adult.

i guess tht aint alot huh?? hahaha, but yeah...i think i might like 2009. i know tht hoe aint gon be perfect but it shall be better. i expect to be more mature...more headstrong...more independent...less gullible...more loving and considerate...i expect to change. but i dnt expect to change in 1 day. change is good but so is patience and time right??

but...im listening to this song called "Tht Was Then" by lalah hathaway. it is THE shit. lol. she says: "it was like a lifetime passed right thru my fingers so long ago.so much tht i didnt know. it was like a light shined dwn and showed me how...how to move on. tht was then and this is now." i love tht.

im moving!!! i really dnt feel like it though. its like you pack all your shit up to unpack it in like 2 or 3 days. ugghh. i hate it. but its for the better.

im out.
byyeeeee. <3